Tuesday, August 18, 2009

To Lurk

As I was going over Welcome Mat files I discovered some very inadvertent words of knowledge.

"Many lurkers feel left out of things but if you lurk it is difficult to find some way to connect with you. If you reach out by posting others will happily respond in kind. What you get out of something directly corresponds to what you put in."

It is often difficult to connect to shy people or reserved people. In my experience they often can feel upset or even bitter when they observe others getting more attention or enjoyment from situations. Usually the two things go hand in hand. On the Mat the less people post or say about themselves the less there is for us to hook into and relate to, leaving many members with no happy connections.

As I watch our livestock I realize though there is plenty of milkweed to go around some caterpillars are getting considerably bigger than others. They are taking what they need and want, the more they eat, the bigger they get and the hungrier they become. Thus leaving less for the smaller ones and making it difficult to for them to claim their turf due to size.

Now what causes this ? Do these bigger caterpillars have a sense of entitlement ? It reminds me of Survivor, the more the physically strong teams win the more they get to eat and the healthier and more able to win they become.

Do you damn the big caterpillars because they know what they want and get it ? Try to corral them into a smaller pen or reduce their intake ?

Or do you encourage the smaller ones by giving them their own plants, by helping them overcome their retiring nature ? By empowering them?

The big caterpillars are working it, their jaws, their territory, getting to the young easy to eat leaves first.
The little ones are hanging back.
Over time the big ones will win the evolutionary race, because they will form pupa stage first, hatch first and begin their journey using up food sources first.

I'm saying all this to encourage you to be your own advocate. You might be shy or feel you don't deserve or don't risk asking something in case you are wrong. You might have a form of social anxiety or frustration might be impeding you.

Do the best thing, speak up !
If you say what you want people seem to want to give it to you. I've found this true in all parts of my life.
What you put into something will reap rewards.
If they are overtly negative, you got it, it's what you'll get back.
Positive, you'll reap thousands of benefits.
Speak up ! It's now or never ... don't you want to turn into the beautiful butterfly we know you are ?

Today is Vanessa's 20th birthday, Greek for Butterfly.


  1. I'm compelled to answer this one Wanda. I know I'm quilty of not commenting sometime when I'm just so tired. I usually try and go back later and send some words and always they are heartfelt! Great post! Keep em coming! Cathy g

  2. I have to comment again, because having started a new blog, I really get excited when someone comments! I mean REALLY excited! Yeah! Someone is actually reading and is maybe touched by something! It's so very important to me to be getting a comment! Even just a few simple words! That's why I'm blogging....to connect. A death of a blog is because of no comments! Cathy G

  3. Your recent photo of this butterfly is quite beautiful. This is the first time I saw a dual colored butterfly, how very unusual. Have you come across any others of this nature? Wren.

  4. Wren, I think that is the effect of light shining on the wing which makes it appear bi coloured, it is fascinating what light or the lack of it will do to colours !
    Very observant !