Saturday, March 26, 2011

uhun Amen!

This morning I got up to find Birdee MIA. I know she was here about 5 in the morning because she got into bed with me to make passionate luv with my hands and head butt my corpulent torso 50 or so times as I tried to sleep.

The whole herd each get a tbsp of pouch food ( wet with greasy gravy, yeah I 'm an awesome cat chef!) and the rattling of the plates, shaking of the pouch and even my presence in the kitchen bring the whole posse in from the far reaches and in double time.

Not even that worked. I asked the rest of the livestock who knew what, guilty looks and lots of ???
Finally I hear some clunking in the bathroom and she appeared.
But she was looking both ways like she lived on a highway thick with transport trucks. And she wouldn't let me touch her.

It took me about 2 seconds to figure it out. We do have a transport truck living here and her name is Mary. She's got a few kung fu moves and lots of bull like charging behaviour. She is a hair longer than she is wide. We are talking line backer. Lightening striker.
And on an aside there is several things about her that remind me of my oldest brother. I KNOW!!! In the face, they have a resemblance and they are both the oldest and really looking for trouble to stir up and fur to ruffle. She walks a perimeter of the house when she is in a mood way like she is a bad cop on a beat looking for any thing that doesn't suit her.

Surprisingly I can control her by telling her to GO to bed!
It does not work on my brother but you could try it and see what happens with yours.

Here is Mary right now a live non action photo:
You can see she is still on the prowl even as she is lying still.

And Birdee's live photo: more of a supermodel shape and look how worried she is ... probably thinks I'm in cahoots with officer Mary and she's getting her mug shot.

Now I said all this to say I thought a lot about human behaviour this week and here it was all played out right in front of me in my own herd of cats.
I thought of some things and I thought I 'd share them with you because I largely study woolworkers and you are some and this might help you someday.

1. Don't come into a rug hookers house and shame her for having non-hooked rugs in her house on the floor and her rugs on the wall. That's your problem not hers.

2. Don't assume people are busy and not extend all rug hookers in the same area the same invitation to a public rug hooking function. That is the worst sort of manners.

3. Don't blame others for aforementioned oversight. That is even worser manners.

4. Don't tell the busiest person on the planet you were too busy to let them know something. Excuses are never acceptable in an apology.

5. Don't be afraid of bullying behaviour, you stick up for what is good and works for you. Bullies are full of fear, don't let their problem rule you.

6. Don't forget to recognize everyone has a right to do their own thing, even exhibit shockingly poor manners.

7. Don't forget to act out of love no matter your motivations. It works for all things.

8. Don't make others feel small so you can feel big.

9. Don't fall for lateral Kung fu moves and rushes, stand your ground, they soon roll over.

10. Nothing is worth missing your morning treat over.

11. Look both ways, if you see crazy cross the street, if you are crazy get help.

12. Try to find out if they make feliway for humans.

Going now to tuck Birdshine into my sweater and love her up awhile.

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